Before CAFAA, I could not get myself together enough to hold a job for any long period of time. The effects of the caffeine on my physical and mental health would always leave me strung out to the point where I had to quit the job just to get myself together. I tried desperately to quit caffeine for almost ten years, and I never could get through one week without picking it up again. Caffeine in the form of tea, coffee, and chocolate, wrought havoc on my self-esteem and sense of integrity because I knew I was powerless. I just didn’t know where to turn. I was hiding my use and lying to the people closest to me. Many people in my life invalidated and minimized my struggle. I began developing serious health issues like adrenal fatigue and gut issues, which I’m still now recovering from.
I found CAFAA through a Google search and felt an immediate sense of relief. CAFAA has given me a chance to connect with others who experienced the same struggle, to find accountability friends, and get abstinent. My abstinence feels like a gift and helps me stay connected to myself, others, and my higher power’s guidance. It took about a year after finding CAFAA for me to truly get abstinent, but I kept coming to meetings and talking about my struggle. I held on to the hope I got from hearing others’ stories – people who had recovered.
I had a wake-up call when I got into a caffeine induced car accident, and knew it was time for me to get clean. I knew without a doubt that caffeine is a powerful drug, and it was life or death for me to stop using. Thanks to CAFAA, I have tools I use when I feel an urge to pick up and I have people to call to talk about my journey every step of the way. A life without caffeine is not only possible, but it’s a lot more rich and authentic. I now see how caffeine was a way for me to escape my feelings and stay in a victim mentality. I feel so grateful to be clean today.